What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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