didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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