i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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