we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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