me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
