The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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