You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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