He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
