Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
