no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
why is half of my head shaved?
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