Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
