I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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