If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize