Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
