Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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