Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Dicks are not precious.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
