i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
