There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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