We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
