Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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