Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
