Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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