I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
