It's Friday. Sex?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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