Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.

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(816): View more from Missouri

If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood

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(573): View more from Missouri

Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?

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(989): View more from Michigan

This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.

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