i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize