Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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