That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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