That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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