When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
