I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Randomize
