I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
