We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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