hotel room ftw
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
