Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
