My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
