at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
