You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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