I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
