My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
no you cant smoke seaweed
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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