So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I supernannyed him into submission
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
