I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
