I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
