come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
And then my night got REAL pukey
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
