Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
