I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
