i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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