Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
