his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
