Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
