Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
