Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
