Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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