Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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