elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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