guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
