We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
