Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
