It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
soo... how was my night?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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