He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
