Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
