he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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