my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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