Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
