allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
