Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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