We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
