I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize