youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
