I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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