Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
