is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
