just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
