I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
