ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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