i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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