i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
