At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
