Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
